I have to change these habits.
When I sit down (actually walking home at 11:48pm)and think about it, Ca me nuit.
Without realizing it, I have conditioned myself to a few responses when asked a few questions. The Question- then *bam* my automated answer. Its gotten to the point where I don't even take notice, or really think about the questions anymore. Maybe today I feel more like "yes" then a "no", but that doesn't even pass through my mind before I reply.
Sometimes situations arise, and there is an open __ of a few seconds, instant spontaneous reaction to be had. Instead its more of a stop and the pre-regulated thought/reaction/response/what-have-you kicks in. Sometimes I am given a few minutes to react, but it still reaches the same conclusion.
Like saliva to a steak. I have to revers things in my brain, and change the way I approach these situations. Which I want to do, and have thought about, but the second it actually come into play, I'm Pavlov's Dog again.
Need to rewire things.